FADE IN:



               EXT. SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

               BILL (Lastname), 60, spindly, bald, dressed in business
               trousers and and old gray tweed sport coat, walks past many
               students into the high school, signs a roster, gets paperwork
               from a school ADMINISTRATOR, puts on a stick-on SUBSTITUTE
               sign, takes a long walk downstairs, and enters a colorful
               classroom filled with (as visually apparent) special needs
               students. Bill sits in a student desk in the back of the
               room.



               INT. SPECIAL EDUCATION ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

               MR. (teacher), 30, stout like a football coach and in shorts,
               somewhat unimpressive in his own appearance, approaches Bill
               in the back as another ASSISTANT, African American and
               female, works with the students up front. (teacher) motions
               to Bill as they go out into the hall.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         Did they tell you what this is all
                         about? You look puzzled.

                                   BILL
                         No. There were no special
                         instructions on Subcall. 

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         Well what I need today is for you
                         to accompany them on the field
                         trip. 

                                   BILL
                         That sounds fine.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         Well, they're going swimming.
                         That's one thing they're obviously
                         good at. As someone like you would
                         see things....

                                   BILL
                         I thought this was classroom.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         For high functioning. This is
                         different.

                                   BILL
                         I've watched this once before. You
                         put enormous pressure on these kids
                         to conform. I understand. But
                         enormous pressures were put on me
                         as a boy to be "normal", to play
                         football, to swim, ride a bike, to
                         be able to protect girls, before I
                         could do what I wanted and use my
                         talents, which consisted of music.
                         These kids are a step down from me.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         I see. It's not easy for any of us.
                         Look, Mr. Whatever, I need you
                         dogpaddling in the deep end. And I
                         may need help in the locker room.
                         Is that all right? I mean, it's
                         easy money!

                                   BILL
                         I don't swim. As for the locker
                         room, since I took this, yes, just
                         today I'll do it. But I really
                         shouldn't. I don't do intimate
                         care. There are good reasons.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         You can't deal with this. You've
                         never done this for your own child.

                                   BILL
                         I don't have children. I've never
                         had kids.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         I see. Well, I could tell right
                         off, really, by your body language.

                                   BILL
                         You can look me up on the Net. 

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         I did, with Google. Before you
                         showed up. It was too late. 

                                   BILL
                         I'm kind of an aspie, bad at
                         everything physical. For a sixty
                         year old like to me show up in
                         swimming gear in front of disabled
                         students, that's, well, disgusting.
                         I'd be ashamed, like Elizabeth in
                         that black-and-white comedy sitcom
                         in the 50s. Life with Elizabeth. 

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         What about good students?

                                   BILL
                         I shouldn't. Look, would you let a
                         woman do this?

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         With the two females. Um, no!
                         Liability. Ok, I see what you're
                         getting at, all right. Why don't I
                         excuse you for the day. We'll pay
                         you. 

                                   BILL
                         You know. They don't tell us in
                         advance.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         No. Of course they don't. 

                                   BILL
                         I'm not the first to be sent home.

                                   MR. (TEACHER)
                         It happens. 

               ....

               SKIP TO SECOND PREVIEW



               INT. BILL'S EFFICIENCY HIGH-RISE APARTMENT -  NIGHT

               The apartment has old, beaten up furniture with books and
               papers over the living room floor, as well as CD's around the
               apartment in random locations and on top of the piano. 

               Bill gets out copies of his two "DO ASK DO TELL" books from
               an inventory box and looks at him. He looks at a letter
               envelope that says "Zoning Board" as a return address. He
               goes to his computer and pulls up his "Do Ask Do Tell"
               website and then goes into Google. 

                                   BILL
                         Let's Google hack the zoning laws.

               ....

               SKIP TO THIRD PREVIEW



               EXT. SCHOOL SYSTEM ADMINISTRATION BUILDING -  DAY

               Bill parks his car, a dirty green Escort with bumper covered
               with gay political and rainbow stickers, as well as the HRC
               equality symbol. He gets out, checks the security light,
               carefully makes sure he turned the lights off, and goes into
               the building. 



               INT. SCHOOL SYSTEM HUMAN RESOURCES OFFICE -  DAY

               Bill sits in front of MRS. (school administrator), 40,
               African American, blue female business suit. 

                                   BILL
                         I'm up front about this. Because
                         I'm publicly known as gay, if I
                         give a special needs child personal
                         hygiene care, I think that presents
                         a legal risk.

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         Is that your idea?

                                   BILL
                         Well, it's federal law for the
                         military, from 1993. It defines
                         homosexual in federal law. It's the
                         notorious "don't ask don't tell"
                         statute. So it sets a precedent. I
                         would be violating the right of the
                         disabled student to give consent.
                         That's why I need to be able tell
                         what the assignment is before
                         taking it.

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         Well, Mr. (Lastname), you're
                         probably finding out that teaching
                         is much about taking care of
                         people. You're the male role model. 

                                   BILL
                         It's hard for me to act that role
                         credibly when I don't have equal
                         rights.

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         How so?

                                   BILL
                         To serve in the military if I were
                         young enough or needed. To have a
                         relationship legal and equal in
                         rights. Otherwise it's a facade.
                         Now I can stress the math. I have a
                         graduate dregree .

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         Teaching is more about relating to
                         kids at a differential level than 
                         it is about the subject matter.

                                   BILL
                         I call it content. You know,
                         somebody has to assemble all of
                         this, put it together, and get it
                         right. I feel very strongly about
                         this one. I can brush up on my
                         general relativity and differential
                         equations and pass the ETS Praxis
                         certification tests. But I've never
                         been a babysitter. Gosh, there was
                         once an indie movie, "I Hate
                         Babysitting."

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         If you feel that way, why did you
                         even try subbing. It would sound
                         like you want an easy day job.
                         Teaching is not easy.

                                   BILL
                         You want to just keep quiet or mask
                         about these problems and maybe they
                         go away. Just like don't ask don't
                         tell. Well, maybe we really can
                         focus on the math. You need math,
                         logical thinking.

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         I see. You'll talk your way out of
                         this. You see it as politics. Well,
                         you understand our position. We can
                         never be sure when you come to
                         school where we may need you. I
                         can't promise you that something
                         like PE won't come up at the last
                         minute. We have to be fair to the
                         other subs who do take these
                         assignments, and we have to be fair
                         to the subs.  

               She goes online and pulls up Bill's application and resume.

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         I see you used to be a computer
                         programmer. You gave it up when you
                         retired. 

                                   BILL
                         Yes. And the individual contributor
                         jobs I was good at went to India.
                         So I went off on my own, writing.
                         But I don't get paid for it. Not
                         much. A seven dollar check for
                         advertising. So I need the income.
                         I guess your teaching assistants
                         are individual contributors. I
                         guess I like jobs where I work
                         alone and create my own content. 

                                   MRS. (SCHOOL ADMINISTRATOR)
                         Well. We do have an I.T. Operation.
                         Maybe we could use some help. I'm
                         going to check into this for you.
                         We'll let you keep taking
                         assignments for another couple of
                         weeks, but we've gotta figure
                         something out. In the meantime,
                         you've got to carry a change of
                         clothes in your car whenever you go
                         to work for us. Shoes and shorts,
                         for gym. And don't make yourself so
                         much trouble, eh?