Part 1: Identity, personal skills and mission

1.       Wanted to take piano at age 8. Don’t know why.

2.       Remember the salesmen

3.       Third grade, teachers give me hard time about boy things like team sports

4.       Tendency to depend on others for physical chores

5.       Good at piano, festivals

6.       School work got promising

7.       Grades as currency

8.       Identified with abstractions

9.       Feeling connected to music

10.   Taste for chills and fever

11.   My own compositions (13, 16, 18) – the music seems to convey my life

12.   Personal relations based on upward affiliation, but dependencies are afterthoughts

13.   Ambiguity in commitment to music, or science

14.   Lack of sufficient concentration on either one of these – premature pruning, lack of capacity

15.   Leads to comparison with younger Renaissance Men today. Immaturity

16.   Late with first job

17.   Graduate school assistantships

18.   Leveraging student deferments

19.   Oppression and Cowardice; necessity that someone sacrifices

20.   Bullying

21.   Army Basic and Special Training Company

22.   Rifle Range  and hearing tinnitus

23.   Attitude about “low work” anticipates “station in life” idea

24.   If more capable physically, might have succeeded in music or science – but political climate

25.   Sacrifice has two modes

26.   Disability is double edged